I try to avoid sharing personal life details through Cherry Picked. The mentality of “being your brand” doesn’t appeal to me. Influencer culture makes me yearn for a technological dark age. Moreover, it’s never satisfying to see a Kickstarter project delayed due to slowly unfolding personal drama. I want people to see CPG as a professional entity and that veneer erodes when Alex Jerabek’s problems surface. However, it’s clear CPG is less active following the Hair of the Dog launch and I feel like I owe an explanation. I debated how to post this and want to frame it in the context of other past blogs: a transparent post about the company that hopefully serves as educational insight for other game developers. Four months ago, I had my first kid. It’s been tough to find time for CPG, but the real limiting factor is energy.
When I was in my twenties, the thing that held me back was time (and money, but I’ll spare folks the r/antiwork discourse). Catalyst was made in the margins of a packed schedule. Playtests were squeezed in between school, working in a kitchen, and Pike Place Market gig jobs. I’d come home after ten hours over a griddle and write about demon relics in Anasazi ruins. As time went on, it became harder and harder to rally at the end of the day. I was tired, but it was also harder to focus. I realize this isn’t surprising, but as someone who mastered the all-nighter in college, it hit hard.
To counter the focus issue, I learned how to structure my life to maximize productivity. I don’t pretend to believe the tech executive drivel of getting up at 4am, eating activated almonds, and hitting the gym before yelling at employees. Instead, I did a lot of trial and error to figure out my brain and find the routine that worked for me (this Idea Channel video was a big help). On days I didn’t work another job, I would immediately head to a café and pour my soul into the task of the day. I’d walk somewhere for quick lunch break, then hit up another café for more coffee and laptop time. Then I’d recharge by hanging out with friends. Simple, but effective. I fully believe that if you find your rhythm, you can get more done in four hours than eight (which I hope my direct reports for my day job realize). Outside of that, there were moments where I’d get a sudden creative spark and immediately follow it. My favorite Far Away mission was authored Christmas night over three whiskey sours at a loud metal bar (shout out to Bar House).
Shockingly, with a wife and kid, I no longer drift into dive bars on a whim. That’s probably good for my liver, but it’s harder to follow inspiration. There’s a special vibe in Far Away that’s difficult to channel on a whim. You have to consider the sarcastic humor, stay true to the universe, and understand the relationship between mechanics and story. The rest of Cherry Picked business can happen after the family goes to bed, but I’m too mentality drained to come up with anything cool.
During this time, I was invited to help spin up the Washington Tabletop Game Alliance: a non-profit that advocates for local tabletop business. It was an honor, to be sure, but after spending the day in the state capitol, I realized I don’t give a shit about lobbyists. Maybe when I was younger I could have been creative and worked with the government to care about the arts. Not now.
I make games to provide people with experiences. Far Away is intentionally a weird, polarizing game. The expansion will be exactly what people who love the game want: more and new weirdness. I don’t want to recreate the same thing; I don’t want to chase trends; I want to make something my friends and people who could be my friends enjoy. It might take more time than any of us want, but I need to provide my son with a great experience too. I’m so excited to play games with the little dude.
—Alex